Reflection Paper Take 14

Welcome, welcome, WELCOME to my first post!! EXCITING!! I have had a nudge on my heart to write for quite awhile and I was just not taking the time to do it. Always something else to get done! I call that resisitance. It actually shows up in me quite a bit but it has not been until these past couple months that I have been able to notice and name it then begin to EMBRACE it. What a concept, right?? Don't we always just want to run away from it because IT is BAD or uncomfortable. Or we beat up on ourselves because we know THIS xyz should be getting done. 

Well this RESISTANCE showed up AGAIN early November. I was preparing to attend my last weekend in my training program and had a reflection paper to write. Picture this we have guidelines, there is no right or wrong (obviuosly it is my own experience....aka. reflection) and we get the assignment beginning of September.  I take out the paper and look at it on a regular basis...nothings coming...fast forward to 3 days before I leave....NOTHING. Hello RESISTANCE... I see you! At first, not concerned.. TRUST..it will come, it ALWAYS does (unless I try to control it and boss it around, which I CAN be very good at:-)... 2 days left...spend an hour or 2 here and there, throughout the day. I started several times but I really wanted it to be my heart and it was not feeling that way, last day I spend the ENTIRE day looking, reading, trying to jog my memory with past training weekends, conversations, quotes, songs UUUUGGGG! NOTHING I loved. So, the day I left I got up, got ready and headed to Siena Center because if ANYTHING can jog love and reflection it IS SIENA Center! If you have never been there I HIGHLY recommend you do!! Sat down at my desk, in my room and before I even new it there it was! My heart on paper! Let me tell you though even up until the moment I started sharing it the next day with my small group I did not love it or even realize it was not only my heart...it was me.

It was?IS so me! So me...that I thought as we start getting to know each other I would share it with you. On this blog I am going to share my journey sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes ugly crying. I share this journey so you know who you are working with, so that you know life and growth and healing and everything in between IS a process. When I say in my statement of the gifts I bring to serving you...openness, grace and compassionate listening these are ALL things I had to bring to myself FIRST!!  AND TRUST me it HAS been and will continue to be a process! And THAT IS the journey! I have been led to know that the deeper I go into my process (work) the more sacred space I am able to hold and companion you though your  process.

TODAY'S TAKE AWAY....when you are experiencing resistance, take a moment (or 2, sometimes we just need to give ourselves the space to do so) and check in with what this resistance is telling you. Feel it. Name it. Walk around it. Tend to it. In my own experience of resistance it is telling me that I am NOT TRUSTING God. I usually need to go back, acknowledge what is going on, reconnect to TRUTH and can then step forward from that place. 

Signing out...
With Gratitude and Baskets FULL of Veggie Love, 
Beth

If your interested...here it is...my final reflection from the completetion of my 2 year Spiritual Guidance Training Program at Siena Retreat Center.....Class of 2018-19